Self-Compassion

 How good are you at being kind to others? How good are you at being kind to yourself?

Typically, women are much better at being kind to others compared to how they treat themselves. 

Self-compassion can take many forms. When I first learned about it, I struggled with allowing myself to show “tender” self-compassion. It felt unnatural to me and my mind often wandered to judgment thoughts rather than kindness. It is still challenging but has become more natural with practice. When I first learned about fierce self-compassion, a light bulb went off in my brain. I had found a way to harness wanting to be both kind and fierce. 

“Women still live in a male-dominated society and we need all the tools we can get our hands on to emerge triumphant but also healthy and whole. One of the most powerful weapons in our arsenal is caring force. Tender self-compassion harnesses the energy of nurturing to alleviate suffering, while fierce self-compassion harnesses the energy of action to alleviate shuddering - when these are fully integrated, they manifest as caring force.” ~Kristin Neff, Fierce Self-Compassion

Self-compassion begins with mindfulness of your experience, moves to remembering your common humanity with others, and extends to showing YOURSELF what you need. 

Is it challenging? Absolutely! It is an incredible life skill that helps people feel less stressed, more centered, more productive, and stronger in who they are? Absolutely!

• Neff, K. (2021). Fierce self-compassion: How women can harness kindness to speak up, claim their power, and thrive (pp.5). New York: HarperCollins Publishers.