Relaxation and Mindfulness

Relaxation can mean different things to different people. I have polled clients, students, family, friends (okay, informal poling) and they usually have different answers. On the surface, there are typical responses like “listen to music or take a bath.” But when people really think about it, their most effective form of relaxation is often idiosyncratic to them. 

Some of us like down time for relaxation (e.g., lighting a candle and having a glass of tea or wine) while that makes other people nervous. Some of us like something more active (like gardening or going on a walk) while that makes other people fatigued. 

Relaxation using the above activities can be thought of as self-care - what do you do for yourself to take care of yourself. There is definitely merit in self-care. 

When I talk about learning Central Nervous System relaxation skills, I do not mean just having a cup of tea. I mean actually changing how your Central Nervous System is functioning. Helping your body change from the fight/flight/freeze mode (Sympathetic Nervous System activation) to rest/relax mode (Parasympathetic Nervous System activation). We do this through changing breathing rate, monitoring physiological responses through biofeedback devices, and practicing skills to relax muscle tension. Using these strategies, and using them correctly, can help alleviate pain, stress, anxiety, and sleep difficulties. 

Learning these strategies through YouTube and apps is a good start. But the majority of the people I work with are breathing wrong. Wait… there is a wrong way to breathe. Yep, when it comes to CNS relaxation there is! If you are going to spend your time focusing on CNS relaxation, make sure you have the techniques down right and a plan for consistent practice. 

 Mindfulness is a term used a lot these days. Pleased be assured… it is not a new fad or pop culture psychology phase. Mindfulness has been around, as a practice, for a very long time and originated long before our current western culture. Mindfulness is observation of the present moment without judgment. The intention of mindfulness is observation - NOT change. 

There are idiosyncrasies of the mindfulness definition:

• “The original Pali (Old Sanskrit) term that has been translated into English as “mindfulness” is sati. According to ancient Buddhist texts, sati is a state of mind that can be said to involve a blend of present moment-focused attention, accepting awareness, and memory of one’s intention (Kabat-Zinn, 2009; Siegel, Germer, & Olendzki, 2009).” 
• Kabat-Zinn (1990) defined mindfulness as “the awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally.”
• Wilson & DuFene (2009) described mindfulness as “flexible, focused attention.” 

No matter how you describe it, mindfulness can help you ground yourself in the present. When we experience stress, anxiety, depression, trauma, and burn-out, we are typically rooting ourselves in the past or the future. It can feel incapacitating and overwhelming.

When I work with mindfulness skills with clients, we process, step-by-step, through mindful experience of the external world, our physiological sensations, our cognitions, and our emotions. By rooting yourself in these sensations and perspectives, people grow in their acceptance of themselves and, often, in their desire to live a life that moves them towards their goals and values. 

 When I work with mindfulness skills with clients, we process, step-by-step, through mindful experience of the external world, our physiological sensations, our cognitions, and our emotions. By rooting yourself in these sensations and perspectives, people grow in their acceptance of themselves and, often, in their desire to live a life that moves them towards their goals and values. 

While the terms are sometimes used interchangeably, they are different and their differences are important. 

Relaxation training of the Central Nervous System is designed to create change in automatic functions of the body. When your muscles have tightened due to a stressful experience at work, progressive muscle relaxation + diaphragmatic breathing is utilized to increase blood flow, slow respiration, and relax targeted muscle groups. Tension + nervous system relaxation = relaxation.

Mindfulness training is designed for awareness and observation. While it can result in a feeling of relaxation, that is not the purpose. In fact, sometimes we are mindful of things that do not create peace or relaxation. We can be mindful of our mood, thoughts, surrounding, and habit to see them and know them. If we choose to change them, we are using other strategies. 

You can benefit from both strategies. There is strength in change and there is strength in observation. 

• Kabat-Zinn, J. (2009). Foreword. In F. Didonna (Ed.), Clinical handbook of mindfulness (pp. xxv-vvviii). New York: Springer. 
• Siegel, D.K., Germer, C.K., & Olendski, A. (2009). Mindfulness: What is it? Where did it come from? In F. Didonna (Ed.), Clinical handbook of mindfulness (pp. 17-35). New York: Springer. 
• Wilson, K.G. & DuFrene, T. (2009). Mindfulness for two: An acceptance and commitment therapy approach to mindfulness in psychotherapy. Oakand, CA: New Harbinger.